γπ‘ FEDERAL CHEESE RESERVE ADVISORY β PRIORITY TRANSMISSIONγ
General Curds
Attention all Miladys, citizens of the Remilianet, and associates of the Grand Dairy Confederation:
It is with great alarm and solemn responsibility that we must report β the cheese reserves have officially exceeded containment capacity. The vaults are full. The curd chambers are swelling. Entire silos of brie, gouda, and provolone are bursting at the rind. The scent is reaching critical density across all sectors.
This is not a drill.
This is a cheese epidemic.
Reports indicate an unprecedented shortage of beetle catchers across the districts. With too few beetles to manage the surplus fermentation cycle, the equilibrium of lactose and life has been disturbed. Entire colonies of cheese mites have taken up residence within the walls of the Federal Dairy Depository, and the moon itself smells faintly of parmesan.
Effective immediately, all Miladys are to report to the Remilianet Command Nexus for further instruction. Bring only essential rations (preferably crackers, wine, or small knives). Do not attempt to store additional cheese in your quarters β the reserves have reached saturation levels. Repeat: containment is futile.
The Federal Cheese Reserve thanks you for your cooperation in this national curd emergency.
Together, we will overcome this overflow and restore balance to the lactose continuum.
May the dairy spirits guide your path, and may your bries stay unbroken. π§
Transmission ends.
